I'll Always Protect Her But Just Maybe I'm Worth It Too
by charlotteredmond99
Summary: Eggsy was always so self sacrificing but protective of the ones he loved. It's time some other people reminded him of how much he's worth as well.
1. For Her

Eggsy stared off into the difference as he sat waiting for the helicopter to retrieve him from the fuck up of a mission he had just completed. It had started off fairly harmless mission; go in, get the needed info, get out. That was the plan anyway.

He had went in claiming to be a rich entrepreneur wanting to get involved in some of the more 'shady' areas of business available. A detailed background profile was made along with all the necessary documents to back it up by Merlin and it was going great. People were talking to him as normally as could be expected when you were a first time invested, he was getting the info.

That was until Dean walked in with his merry band of thugs. Merlin watching in on his glasses hadn't noticed yet as I was trying to subtly work my way around everyone and get out the room before they noticed me. Now whispering frantically to Merlin under my breath ignoring the odd looks I was getting from everyone I realised that I wasn't going to make it out before they noticed me. Seeing them now gathering a group of their own to go and jump me I whispered on last time to Merlin, "I'm sorry for messing this up so badly. I didn't know this would happen. Tell Harry I love him and I'm really sorry I was such a screw-up." Ignoring what Merlin was saying as each sentence got progressively louder with him no longer caring if anybody else heard as I was doomed already, I sighed one last time before taking off the glasses and crushing the in my hand.

And from there it really just went to hell in a handbasket. Just after I'd broken the glasses, as I'd predicted the newly formed mob blocked all exits and formed a circle around all sides so I couldn't escape.

Dean fronting the group with two of his personal thugs growled as he said, "All these years trying to protect your mummy and be a big boy. Attacking me and my friends, taking your little worthless family away from ME!" Then he ominously laughed as the two thugs moved to hold my arms back before I could try and make any small escape in my desperation, "But look at you now! Just like the worthless runt you were back then. No friends to help you now! Ha! What friends have you even got, nobody to get you out now. Now you're going to pay for all your stupidness!"

With that he signalled to the thugs to hold his head up as Dean punched him in the face. Hard. Eggs felt his nose break with a sharp crack that could be heard throughout the whole room. Many of the other people in the room were now coming over to watch the oncoming show, anticipating lots of violence to entertain them.

As Eggsy was attacked from all sides he finally managed to retreat back into his mind where the physical pain was just a dull ache in the background. Although this helped with the physical side of things, all the abuse being shouted at him by Dean wasn't being filtered. That he was a waste of space, should have been drowned at birth like the runt he was and that he'd ruined the whole family seemed to be favourites of his.

None of this was new to him anymore, enduring through most of it throughout his childhood but as he kept hearing the same things time and time again he started to believe it. Most the time he could pretend that part of him didn't exist. But when he thought he was alone or when things got really bad he would mentally berate himself for being such a weakling that he couldn't even protect himself from Dean.

Now collapsed on the floor as the group all started to kick him in whatever place they could that side of him decided to show up in his mind as the constant abuse being hurled at him brought it all up. Now taking abuse from every part of his body Eggsy felt near enough dead to the world as he tried to pretend that he didn't believe that he wasn't worth love and that he didn't believe that his whole life was pointless.

This abuse continued as he zoned out trying to convince himself he was worth the love he received from others.

That was until he heard Dean mention Daisy. Quickly coming back to consciousness he paid more attention to what Dean was ranting on about, ignoring the pain emanating from everywhere on his body. "...stupid woman took away my little Daisy! Can't even keep her about any more. Could've trained her up to be a proper nice housewife and given her to one of my partners to make sure I get a good deal. Would've had her doing all the running about, wouldn't need to do anything, she would've been made to do the dirty work for me..." Eggsy saw red as he listened to what Dean was saying.

Talking bad about him him could deal with, saying how he should've died at birth he could deal with, hell! Even the physical abuse he could deal with. But about Daisy just didn't happen.

You do not talk bad or threaten Daisy. His little baby sister that he would die for. Just no.

Rolling over onto his stomach, people leered at him as he tried to get up on shaky arms before he fell back down again. Dean must've told everybody to just stop and laugh as no kicks came forcing him back down as he tried again. This time he got to his knees, panting heavily he tried to get some oxygen back into his lungs before he threw up as the world spun around him. No doubt died to the concussion he could feel in among the the other numerous injuries he had.

Ignoring the voice in his head still telling him he was useless he clambered up to his feet swaying. Slowly his eyes adjusted to the light as his brain protested to all of it, seeing as the group around him was starting to get interested again his slow working brain decided to give them something.

Dean was mocking him again but all Eggsy was hearing was him going on about Daisy. Keeping this in mind, ignoring all the mental and physical abuse thrown at him from before, he acted.

Moving like a Kingsman agent should, although slightly wobbly due to the many injuries, he ruthlessly tore down the closest people surrounding him, four out of twenty five. Grabbing a handful of knives from the table at the side of the room Eggsy threw them with a deadly accuracy getting rid of another twelve men. Down to nine, including Dean in this count.

Running up to another pair of men as they were finally catching up with what was happening and starting to get guns out Eggsy jumped and took them both down. Quickly twisting their necks rendering them dead he moved on ducking the multiple bullets being shot at him. Seven more to go.

Occasionally a few hit in non lethal places but the only thing that mattered was the seven remaining. Reaching one who had now ran out of bullets and was desperately trying to reload Eggsy grabbed the gun with a blank face as he swiped the legs from under the man and grabbed the clip he had been trying to reload the gun with now that he had everything he needed he reloaded the gun and proceeded to take down the man along with the other men trying valiantly to escape him. One more.

Dean was trying to get out but had found himself trapped in the corner of the room with no escape exit other than going through me. Eggsy smiled grimly as he shot Dean in the knee, screaming Dean slid down the wall as Eggsy limped over before crouching down whilst pointing the gun at Dean's head.

Eggsy kept the same grim smile on his face as he spoke, "You know, you had me ready to die back then. You broke me and I was ready to go. I'd said my apologies and my own mind did half the work for you. Years of psychological abuse took it's toll on me a lot more than you had ever realised. You had nearly won. But then you had to mention Daisy. You listen to me now. You have no right to anything in her life. She is a remarkable person that you have no control over. I protect her. You should've just kept your mouth shut and you would've had what you wanted. But no, I am doing this for her, not me. You almost had it. Then you were an idiot and opened your mouth. Don't get it wrong, I am killing you so you never get your dirty little hands on her. She doesn't have to live knowing the dark side to life. That's why I'm doing it."

With that final word he shot him point blank in the head. Eggs was close enough that the blood sprayed over his face. Grimancing he rubbed a hand across his face as he stared down at the gun.

Dropping it, he heard it hit the floor with a thud. With nothing now to distract him from the voice inside his head he let the tears flow free as he wandered out of the building to lean against the outside and wait for retrieval.

Knowing Harry as well as Merlin and Roxy would all most likely be on that helicopter only made him feel worse. What would happen now, he had shown how messed up he was as well as just killing a room full of men. Subconsciously scratching up his already bruised arms as a self coping method Eggsy went through the past god knows how long as he went through each minute mistake in detail not realising that his arms were now a mess with blood flowing freely from the many scratches he'd made.

Suddenly he realised how much better it would've been if he'd brought the gun with him. One shot and it all would've been over in a matter of seconds. Nobody to tell him how stupid he'd been to get caught, how he'd been too weak as a child as he couldn't even stand up to Dean, how he couldn't even stay calm and ended up in a panic attack which is where he was heading to currently.

Trying again to block all this out suddenly as he remembered how bad it would be to deal with a panic attack on top of the numerous other things wrong with him at the time. Yes, he thought, that would work. Just to focus on the pain rather than the thoughts. Although in itself would probably be worse as his muddled brain told him he was in shock Eggsy thought that the pain would hurt him less in the long run rather than the memories.

It came all of a sudden as his internal monologue shut off and the pain rushed in. His arms aching as he could see the blood beginning to conceal, he tried not to look at the rest of his body.

Propped up against the wall he focused on the pain before moving to surroundings and repeating time and time again.

Opening his eyes slowly he glanced up as he thought he heard the propellers. Closing his eyes before opening them again a few seconds later which was becoming harder and harder with each passing moment he finally saw the helicopter coming into view. A few moments later and it was on the ground a couple hundred metres away with people getting out.

Shutting his eyes Eggsy wondered who had actually came. Footsteps running towards him and a person crouching down finally got him to open his eyes again. Blearily he saw Harry looking over him before Harry himself realised Eggsy was looking up at him. "Don't you ever do that again. You can't tell me you love me then go and stop all communications leaving me to rush here wondering if I'll ever see you alive again. I can't go through that."

Eggsy slowly interpreted this information before managing a slow reply, "I'm sorry, you... you can go if you want... I'll still love you..."

Harry shook his head sadly. "Don't talk now, you just focus on staying awake. We'll sort this all out later. Just remember that I love you, you're in safe hands now."


	2. I'll Have To Show Him He's Worth It

Harry sighed as he stared down at his lover.

He's jumped onto the helicopter expecting the worst, never mind completely abandoning his current mission. Eggsy was in trouble and that was all that mattered to him. To hell with any mission, he'd rather just be fired than not be with his love when he was needed.

Upon finally getting to the remote island where Eggsy's mission had taken place he'd all but skydived off the helicopter when he was finally within distance to survive the land without a parachute.

When he'd finally reached him.

He swallowed as the memories of that painful moment jumped up at him and looked back down at Egssy to remind himself that he was still there.

When he'd finally reached him he thought Eggsy was dead, that amount of blood, no movement, the lifeless look. But then he'd taken a shaky breath and opened his eyes just slightly and it was all a flurry of motion as the med team were getting busy in the background ready to do a quick medevac.

Eggsy must've finally realized who was in front of him as he tried to speak. His words like knives to my heart as he spoke of how sorry he was and that I could leave if I wanted to. I'd always known in some part of my mind that he had some issues but I'd never thought that they were this bad or that they even still bothered him. I'd thought we were going alone fine but obviously in his we weren't.

Shaking my head sadly to stop his talking, I finally spoke quietly to him, "Don't talk now, you just focus on staying awake We'll sort this all out later. Just remember that I love you, you're in safe hands now." I watched as he stopped trying to exert himself just for my sake and just kept up his shaky breathing.

The medevac finally arrived and started to quickly prep him for travel as I moved to the side to allow for room. Seeing him start to panic as I'd disappeared from his line of sight I spoke up again, 'I'm still here, just stay calm and we'll be home soon.' Apparently hearing my voice had the intended effect as he calmed and allowed the medics to move him as needed.

Continuing to watch him as the medics moved him to the helicopter I was startled out of my musings as a medic asked me a question. Blinking at him as he asked his question again I finally realised what he was saying, 'Sir… Sir, can I give him some pain relief? It may make him a bit woozy but I am advising it in this case.' Mumbling my yes to him as I refocused my attention back to Eggsy as a medic gave him something.

Watching as he relaxed I got on the helicopter where Merlin had been directing everything from. Giving him a strained smile I tried to choose my words carefully as I said, 'Do you know of any good therapists?' I watched as he took in what I'd been saying and as he carefully replied, 'I may be able to contact a few secure ones. It would depend on what help was needed. Tell me honestly though Harry. Do you really think he needs one?'

I paused at this unexpected question as I seriously thought about it. 'He… he needs more help than me or you can give him. He has many problems that he needs help sorting through with an unbiased person, someone who doesn't known him, who he can talk to without having to keep up appearances.' Merlin sighed and nodded saying that he'll get in tough with on of them. I nodded back as I returned to my current task of watching over Eggsy.

He'd calmed completely now and seemed to be in and out of consciousness which made me worry all the more even if an off-hand comment I'd overheard told me that it was us now finally up in the air though I counted down how long it would be until we finally arrived back home where a proper hospital would be which could reassure me that everything would be fine.

Merlin must've sensed my worrying as he came over to distract me saying, 'The room will be analysed and you can look at the results if you want to.' This worked to jump me out of my thoughts as I thought about whether or not I really wanted to see what he'd been through.

After much thought I nodded my choice as he brought up pictures on the screen in front of him, 'We don't have much yet Harry but I'll keep you in the loop. You know you can't have anything to do with the official investigation though don't you?' He paused as he waited for my response to this. Again giving a slight nod which he see me to take as he continued, 'He seems to have been attacked by people who already recognised him from before and decided that he was a problem for everybody that they should deal with as well as to provide entertainment for everybody there.' I growled and clenched my fists in anger at the thought of Eggsy being called a problem but Merlin took no notice as he continued as if I hadn't done anything, 'We know that he killed everyone in their Harry.' He said softly, 'We don't have the surveillance footage yet but as soon as we do I'll make sure that I personally contact you to let you know what's on it.' I nodded my acceptance of this as I wondered what I should do next.

All I did know was that I was needed to help my Eggsy get through everything he'd went through. And that was the only thing that mattered, I realised as I was thinking to myself.

I'll show him that he's worth everything, even if it takes forever and back.


	3. It'll All Work Out In The End

Harry watched as Eggsy opened his eyes once again wondering if this time he would be lucid and able to actually talk about what had happened the previous week ago.

Eggsy though now looking like he had came to properly Harry decided to jut in quietly, "You wake now or should I leave you to go back to sleep again?" At this quiet question Eggsy flinched rather violently nearly throwing himself off the bed in the process of it which lead to Harry quickly try to reassure him, "Hey, look at me now. You're safe here and nobody's going to do anything and everyone else is safe."

Eggsy finally started to calm down as the words appeared to penetrate into his brain. Though as Eggsy looked over at Harry, Harry began to wonder if now was really the best time for them to speak over the events that had happened, but then remembering the absolute look of hopelessness and self loathing he regained the strength to go on.

* * *

Meanwhile Eggsy had seen the look in Harry's eyes. He knew this had been coming but he hadn't thought Harry would be so heartless as to do it once he'd only just woken. But still, he'd taken worse and he would get through this.

Deciding to speak first before Harry could say it Eggsy spoke, " if you're going to break up with me then just go. Because I can't do this. Not here, not now. Okay? That's all I'm asking for." With that Eggsy shut his eyes and waited for the impending onslaught of words that would no doubt be shouted at him before Harry left.

It was silent.

Eggsy found himself wondering if Harry had actually just left as he stared at the back to his eyelids. After another tense minute he decided that he could open his eyes.

Only to find Harry staring down at him on the bed sadly.

* * *

Harry sighed as he stared at his lover. He hadn't been expecting that request and he certainly wasn't going to fulfil it, but the main point of this was that Eggsy thought he was going to break up with him.

Eggsy who had held him through the countless nightmares when he remembered getting shot in the head by Valentine. Eggsy who had remembered how how he likes his tea in the mornings so that he could make it for him. Eggsy who had stayed by his side when all others had left him to be trapped within the memories of the past.

And now the same Eggsy thought he was just going to up and leave like that. Pushing down the anger he felt over this he spoke calmly, "I'm not going to leave you just like that. I love you and I will continue to say it until it gets through to you. You are worth each and every second of my time and you need to know that."

Waiting silently for Eggsy's reaction Harry found himself holding his breath.

* * *

Eggsy stared. His mind rushing as he tried to comprehend just what he'd been told. It contradicted everything he knew. He'd always been told he was worthless but now it was the opposite.

What's true? What's not? How was he supposed to know.

Was it the teachings of a drunkard who'd told him all of it since day one. Or a man who'd only known him for a year or so.

But then Eggsy realized that it wasn't just a man, that man was his Harry. And Harry had never lied to him so why should he now.

Upon coming to a conclusion he reached slightly forward to grab outwards.

Grab out for Harry's hand.

* * *

When Eggsy grabbed his hand he knew. He knew it would be a hard road to walk to get Eggsy into the right and healthy frame of mind. But it would all be worth it.

Because that's what Eggsy was. Worth it.

* * *

Okay okay okay! I know it's short and I'm terribly sorry about it but I thought it was a nice little end to this. If you have any comments about anything regarding it though feel free to comment and I'll always be open to prompts even if I might not be able to complete all of them immediately.

Seriously though, thanks for reading.


	4. Eggsy's been taken

Prompt: I would like just friendship, if not that's cool. I was just thinking of an angst, hurt/comfort story, with Eggsy being severely depressed and hurt. Then Harry coming in and trying to help him.

Prompt by: Renegade Hero

I tried my best - my not actually be what your looking for and if there are any mistakes I am terribly sorry.

Eggsy sighed. It had been a while since he had had a bad day. Last time was well before he had started Kingsman, saved the world and all that. Obviously he still felt terrible everyday but usually he could just chuck on a smile and pretend the everything was fine.

Except now he was stuck on a honeypot mission that he didn't want to go on in the first place. Needing to look good and act like he was having the time of his life whereas he would much rather be curled up in some blankets waiting for the mood to pass or until he could at least bear to be around others.

But no. In the real world people have to go to work to make a living which meant that no matter how much Eggsy didn't want to he still has to get up and go.

Just as Eggsy was preparing himself to interact with the target, some Russian woman who knew something or other about some big expensive weapons, Merlin spoke up, "Excalibur abort! I repeat abort mission now!"

Moving quickly to the exit Eggsy looked around the room trying to assess any possible threat. However before he could determine the threat the threat found him.

Shoving him through the door and into the wall behind him Eggsy was startled to see the same Russian woman standing in front of him with guards flanking her. Eggsy watched as she shook her head at him as more guards appeared.

She muttered something in sharp short Russian before Eggsy was pulled away with Merlin now shouting in his ear to "Get the fuck out of there now!"

Only Eggsy didn't really want to. He felt so drained and just wanted to be left alone really. But maybe these guys would understand how he felt, sure they would probably rough him up but he knew he deserved it for being such a useless waste of space. And then after that they would probably leave him alone for a while before the process repeated. After a couple of days Eggsy felt that maybe then he may try for an escape but until then he would just live through this.

It was the most he deserved.

Harry was currently enjoying his day off. He had woken up slightly later than his usual half past six and now had a cup of tea and the morning paper to entertain him.

It was not a terribly bad way to spend a day off.

However his day off abruptly ended at five twenty seven pm when he was just about to think about what he was going to have for tea. It wasn't a large big showy disruption, no. It was in the form of a phone call.

Three simple words from Merlin which resulted in him on a plane destined to Russia in less than twenty minutes.

"Eggsy's been taken."

And now Harry was going to get him back. Being briefed by Merlin that Eggsy had been slightly off all day but that he hadn't expected no reaction to be taken. Or rather it was the lack of trying to escape that worried him more, obviously Merlin couldn't actually see Eggsy from the glasses as they were on him but what many people ignore is that many items are reflective and Merlin was clearly able to see Eggsy's relief at having been captured.

That didn't sit well with Merlin or Harry once he found out. And now Harry was on his way to retrieve Eggsy because they didn't quite believe that Eggsy would try to get himself out.

So now Harry was Galahad. He was in full tactical gear being directed by Merlin to the easiest way to get in without alerting anybody to the fact that there was intruders currently intruding.

Merlin notified Galahad that it would be radio silence from him from him for a while as signal was going to cut out as the walls got too thick to transmit a signal through. Galahad acknowledged and continued with his mission.

After another ten minutes Galahad found himself in an area of the estate that had definitely been done up with all the latest security. Feeling like he was heading in the right direction he continued until faced with three guards.

Using the stun option on his watch he quickly disabled them all before they could see him and alert any others of his presence. He made sure to remove any weapons from them and disable them also. It never hurt to be sure.

Just as he was about to continue down the corridor to the end he did a final overview of his targets and noted that they all had bloody knuckles.

At that his eyes darkened slightly before he continued on his path.

Finally after rounding the corner he first heard a faint noise. It wasn't a nice noise, it was the sounds of men using their fists to beat down others.

It made Galahad angry.

Striding quickly towards the sounds he kicked his way through a door. Now Galahad saw a group of four kicking Excalibur who appeared to be very out of it and unable to defend himself. But just because Excalibur could no longer defend did not means others would not defend for him.

With ruthless efficiency Galahad tore through all those attacking blinded by the rage. The only thing that stopped him from continuing on a rampage throughout the estate was a small moan from Excalibur.

Immediately Galahad was gone and Harry was there. The calm, rational caring person who was needed to assess and determine the best possible way to go forward.

Harry knelt down besides where Eggsy was laying on the floor and spoke quietly, "Eggsy? Do you hear me? I'm going to get you out now and back to safety."

Hearing nothing Harry moved to prep Eggsy to be transported as best he could. Only to be stopped short when Eggsy replied, "Shouldn't have come. Woulda been better off without me."

All Eggsy could really tell was that it hurt. Then again he thought that he deserved to be hurt for being so useless so maybe this was alright even if he didn't like it much.

But then all the pain stopped and that made him confused. Soft comforting hands were moving about his body. And then he could heat the questions. But it didn't make sense, nobody had every come for him before, he was the useless waste of space that needed to get himself out because nobody cared about him. He malfunctioned and just couldn't smile anymore half the time.

So he made sure to say, "Shouldn't have come. Woulda been better off without me."

There, Eggsy thought. He knows now so he'll be left alone to suffer like he should.

And then he felt a hug.

No, that was the wrong response, that isn't how people react. They tell you that you are right and they disappear off to better places without you.

Eggsy felt life just get very confusing so he finally gave in and shut his eyes to try and drown out the world ignoring the voice telling him to stay awake and keep his eyes open.

Finally back safe at Kingsman headquarters Harry observed Eggsy sleeping. The doctors who had seen to him a day or so ago said that he should wake soon. However after he did wake he was going to be made to do a psych eval that he had never done and was going to be having a long chat with the psychologist no matter what the results of the eval were.

But that would only occur after Eggsy woke. Until that point Harry would keep watch over him.

Harry sat next to Eggsy for another three hours before the first signs of waking appeared. Increased heart and breathing rate. Slight small movements. Finally Eggsy's eyes opened and Harry watched as he blearily looked around him looking confused.

Taking pity Harry said quietly, " Eggsy it's been a little while so I suggest you just take it easy for a moment until I call the doctors in."

A moment or so later Eggsy nodded.

Harry continued with what he was saying, "Now I know that we haven't been sharing all our life stories with one another but there is now an issue. You are clearly having a breakdown of some kind and although that's not a nice thing we can get you help. We will always provide you with any help you need. But you need to talk to us and help us to help you. Please, we all need you around here as you bring just a little bit more joy to our lives."

Harry paused for a moment recollecting himself for a moment as he watched as Eggsy's eyes grew misty. Taking Eggsy's hand he spoke again.

"I don't know how long you've been feeling like this but we can all see it now. We will all help you in any way."

Looking directly into Eggsy's eyes Harry ended his speech, "We all love you here. You are a part of our family and we would be devastated to loose you."

After Harry's speech for the first time in a long long while Eggsy finally thought that a brighter happier day may be finally coming.


End file.
